Dave’s Ramblings

Been a long time waiting to get pics of our new litter of English Springer Spaniels posted, at long last here they are at 4 weeks, and getting cuter by the day. Already learned how to beg to be picked up and snuggled. The last two were getting sleepy and just wculdn’t sit up any longer to get their pictures taken, it was nappy time. We’ll be trying to update them weekly. More info and contact information is available at the little website Angel put together @ Briar Patch Puppies. Already eating regular dog food on their own NO bottled feeding this time around! AKC papers arrived last week so all they need to do is grow a bit more and they’ll be ready for their puppy shots then new homes.

Thank you all for the kind comments on my previous post (Crystal, Lady78, Shane, & Michelle) . It was pretty nice to get home and find the comments in my email. Thank you, combined with the efforts of a loving wife and daughter, they truly made a difference. Blessings to each and every one.

I was never really intending on publishing that, it was more of an escape to privacy to sit down in my office with my thoughts and let them flow through my fingers in a feeble attempt to just somehow be connected and disconnected from the world for a while… poor medium for escaping the world I guess, didn’t realize I still had hits left on BE either. But in it’s own way I suppose “it’s all good now”.

The girls did their very best to keep me in good spirits through the rest of the day, and I did my best to try to show them I was. I took a few vacation days so I’m out off work all of next week, so with dozens of projects lined up around the house to finish and stuff I should be able to work my way through any further rough patches. Think today, maybe I just need to go out to the woods and fell a few trees and cut 5-6 cords of firewood or something today to exhaust myself, and I’ll be back to my usual silly self on the outside again. Productive venting could even get some of the firewood we’ll need for next winter ready.

Besides I’ve got the rest of a huge cake to eat Picture this, merge a real Boston Cream Pie and a birthday cake…. chocolate cake split and filled with REAL Bavarian cream, covered in all sorts of butter cream frostings (made up with a truck hauling a boat by a lake with tree’s and lil’ deer running amok, describes me pretty well.

Well today I’ve reached the ripe old age of 39… Yeah I know this should be a joyous occasion, but in all honestly I never expected to see this age.. .. frankly I just never cared if I really did or not, at least I haven’t for quite a few years. You see it was on May 11, 1990 that I had to make the hardest decision of my life, that was to pull the plug on the life support systems keeping what was left of my 2 year old son Joshua R. Cochran in our world. He was the victim of child abuse at the hands of his own mother and her husband. A long story at best, but Joshua was to be staying with her for a couple month while I was to be out of town for a couple months to attend the US Army Drill Sergeant School in Missouri, needless to say within days of my scheduled departure I got a call to get to the Ft. Riley hospital immediately as it involved my son. I was greeted by several very high ranking individuals and several rather large MP’s, (I should note they were fellow MP’s with whom I worked with) the senior officers had given them instructions to physically stop me from getting through, token efforts were made to follow orders at best, you see most of the martial arts training they’d received was from me, and given the obvious mood I was in….glad you are already at the hospital if you wanted to actually obey that order, it was all in efforts to clear my ex from the room before I could get there, almost worked they went out one door as I came through the other.

While being given a quick run down of the events that precipitated and the immediate prognosis, the med flight was already landing on the helipad and he was to be airlifted to Kansas City University Medical Center for further treatment. As soon as he was loaded onto the bird I radioed back to the Control Desk that I was leaving, would explain later. Grabbed a change of clothes and was on the road, the hospital was 150 miles away, but managed to change clothes while driving. Looking back I was probably pretty lucky I didn’t kill myself getting there, as I arrived less than 10 mins after the bird landed.

Days of events passed, very few of which I can recall at all, except for the last few hours of the whole ordeal. Those will forever be ingrained in my memory, they replay daily. Test after test after test… and the final prognosis… no brain activity at all, I knew in my heart that he had been taken from me to be in a better place. I had a lot of time to consider what the real options really were, and knew that what remained of my son resided only in my heart and memory.

The day before all of this Joshua and I had been singing his favorite song he’d learned all the words to, Phil Collins, Another day in paradise, over and over in the car, then strolling through the mall, throwing fistfuls of coins in the wishing well fountain thing, just doing the things a father and son do. Since that day I have never listened to that song for more than the first few bars, I just can’t bear the load it carries.

When the time came I had to reach down deep into my soul to sign the order to terminate life support. God had taken him from me, the best reason I can come up with was that he was saving him from future harm and had better plans for him. I was numb for months, then one day everything turned into pure rage. Not at God, but at those responsible. The assholes that with whom Joshua’s care had been entrusted, the pure audacity that they dared raise a hand to my son and who took him from me. He was incarcerated, but not in my facility, instead the county lock up, where they thought he would be safe… afraid not, I was under orders to stay away and await his trial. But that didn’t mean I could not make sure that word was quickly spread to whichever facility he was housed in of why he was there. Relocated to different facilities very frequently.

Jump ahead many months, a trial I was not permitted to attend, short of a brief testimony, bullshit lawyering bastards went from Murder 1 to felony child abuse, sentenced to three years in Ft. Leavenworth. Almost all of which I’m assured was in protective custody. More of my doing you might ask…. I didn’t have to, it was done on my behalf. What would become of the cheating bitch… someone withdrew her immigration papers and she was deported.

Since then I have lived with this burden, was it my fault, not entirely, but I played a hand in it as I enabled it to happen by not keeping him with me, so now it is mine to carry. And I do, some days it’s heavier than others, but I will continue to do so until we are again re-united.

About 7 years ago I remarried to my beautiful wife, whom I renamed Angel, she is the only one that I confided with all the details I can remember, and tolerates my rapid mood swings into deep depression as every Sept. 12 and May 11 rolls around. I’m sorry for the pain it causes her, as she does her best to make this day special for me every year, hell she makes every day special for me.

As I sit here typing this out, alone locked in my basement office I can shed a tear, this year I needed to let it out a bit more, I should’ve been attending his high school graduation next month.

I pray each day that nobody else has to make the decision that I did so long ago now, even though I know that somewhere someone is having to.

But I have a beautiful daughter to live for now and to see her walk across that stage in a just few years will be a milestone. I owe her and her Mom my life, I really have my doubts as to whether or not I would be here today if it were not for them by my side. So now it’s time to shuffle through the few remaining pictures I have, a few memories, pack them up in my head for later, then try to put on a happy face and go back up and face the world. I know they have gone to extraordinary lengths to build a wonderful day for me yet again, for that I am grateful.

I owe my life to them both, and live it for them.
Joshua rest well my son.

I don’t understand what all the fuss is about with people these days…. I’ve hacked on just about everything in our house that had any LED’s in them and replaced them all with Blue ones… Actually a lot of things that didn’t have any before now do… Even my new truck has been hacked… replaced all the dash lights, they used to be some funky little bulb, but each has been replaced with ultrabright blue LED’s… EVERYTHING should be blue!!!!!

Here’s an excerpt from an article on Wired

A rare sight only five years ago, blue LEDs now seem to be everywhere: on laptops, DVD players, air ionizers and even toothbrushes. And they have some consumers seeing red.
Product reviews on sites like Epinions.com are peppered with complaints about dazzling blue LEDs.

While red and green LEDs have been available for decades, blue LEDs only became practical in the 1990s. Novelty value has helped make them a popular choice in modern product design.

“Research has shown us that consumers prefer blue LEDs over other colors because it’s a relatively new color and hence makes the product more unique,” said Pamela McCracken, a spokeswoman for Logitech, which uses blue LEDs in several products, including speakers and webcams. “Consumers also feel blue LEDs provide a more high-tech look, and associate the blue LED with high-end products.”

“Blue LEDs had, and maybe still have, that appeal of looking great on a store shelf,” said Brandon Eash, an electrical engineer at Design Continuum, a product design house with offices in Boston, Italy and South Korea.

“They sure looked cool when they were first out,” wrote Norman Li, a technology enthusiast from Chicago, in an e-mail. After buying a PC case in May 2004, Li recalled, “I was actually impressed…. The blue light lit up the entire room.” But by the time he bought his third product with an intense blue indicator, he’d had enough, and taped a piece of cardboard over it.

Blue LEDs really are brighter than their old-fashioned red and green counterparts. Barney O’Meara, vice president of Canadian LED manufacturer The Fox Group, said blue LEDs have at least 20 times the luminous intensity of old-fashioned red and green indicators. O’Meara said his company has developed technology to manufacture low-intensity blue LEDs.

“Blue tends to cause more discomfort and disability glare than other, longer wavelengths,” said Dr. David Sliney, an expert on the harmful effects of bright light sources at the U.S. Army Center for Health Promotion and Preventive Medicine in Maryland.
——-

I’ve even sourced out a supplied via eBay where I can get them for under $.10 each, shipped direct from Japan, China, somewhere…. takes about two weeks but sure beats RipOff Shack’s $3 a pop deal by a long ways. I order a few hundred at a time just so I never run out

Dear fellow gun owner:

Now that Governor Pawlenty has signed Minnesota’s new concealed carry bill
into law, non-resident permits are available once again.

Gene German is also once again conducting classes for the non-resident
permits here in Wisconsin. As he and other instructors have done in the
past, Gene is reducing his fee so that his students can contribute $50 to
our political action comittee, the Wisconsin Concealed Carry Movement
(WCCM).

Last year our political action committee was able to give some $16,000 to
pro-concealed carry candidates, thanks largely to the contributions from
concealed carry class students. The 2006 elections will require even more
dollars than that: the maximum political action committee contribution to a
governor’s campaign is over $42,000, and we hope to raise that much or more.

So, get training for a non-resident permit, and help promote gun rights in
Wisconsin at the same time!

Details from Gene are below.

Thanks,
The Wisconsin Concealed Carry Association
–

____

A law so nice, we passed it twice! I am very happy to announce the return of
training for the Minnesota Permit to Carry a Pistol class after we worked
very hard to re-enact the law. An activist judge overturned it due to the
manner the law was passed in 2003 and rather than wait years for litigation
to end, we convinced the Minnesota legislature to re-enacted it.

A One day class has been scheduled on June 10th at the Deerfield Pistol and
Archery Range, 43 N Main Street, Deerfield.

Please let me know if you want to attend and I’ll get you registered.
Pre-registration is required. Just email me your name, home address, phone
number and email address. You can pay your $100 tuition through PayPal. My
PayPal email address is star1315@direcway.com . If you do not have a free
PayPal account, it is very easy to set one up at www.paypal.com and it is a
secure site or you can mail your tuition check to: Gene German, 5925 Eureka
Road, Shorewood, MN 55331. The $50 donation to WCCM is a separate check
which I will collect from you in class.

This is a self defense course and women are welcome.

Class size is limited to 15 students and classroom training will begin at
9am. The class itself is about six hours long. A shooting exercise will
follow which consists of firing a total of 30 rounds, 15 at 15 feet and 15
at 21 feet, these are timed exercises as well and are shot from a standing
stance of your choice. If you are using a semi-automatic you will need at
least two magazines and six is best if you have them. Speed loaders are fine
for revolvers if you have them, but you really don’t need to buy them if you
don’t own any. The shooting exercises will take about 3-5 minutes per
student. If you do not have a weapon to use for shooting qualification, you
may use one of my weapons. You will need to buy a box of .380ACP ball ammo.
This course is not a basic pistol course so you should have some basic
handgun training before you attend this course.

This permit is a five year non-resident permit and is valid to carry a
weapon in Alaska, Arizona, Idaho, Indiana, Kentucky, Minnesota, Missouri,
Montana, Oklahoma, Tennessee and Utah. You can apply to any sheriff in
Minnesota as a non-resident. I will provide everything you will need to
submit your application to a sheriff. Minnesota sheriffs can (and do) charge
up to $100 for processing permit applications. You need to present your
application in person usually during normal weekday business hours.
Minnesota law requires all sheriffs to issue permits to those who are
qualified and to accept my signed certificate that you have completed the
required training. The law does not permit a sheriff from asking you
anything more than what you are required to provide (your completed written
application, a copy of your training certificate, a copy of the front and
back of your drivers license, and a check for up to $100).

This training also satisfies the requirements for a Florida non-resident
permit. With your Minnesota and Florida non-resident permits you can legally
carry in 23 states.

Thank you for helping to make a difference in Wisconsin. Since Wisconsin
does not have a CCW law, I can not tell you that this training will satisfy
what may be required in Wisconsin in the future, if training will be
required at all. I have made my thoughts known to Senator Zien, however it
is up to him and the legislature to make these decisions. The more gun
friendly and veto proof the legislature is, the more likely a bill will
become a law with such ideas included. That’s why I am trying to raise
$50,000 to help WCCM support gun friendly candidates. Wisconsin citizens
need education concerning carrying and using lethal force. It is the only
way correct opinions will be formed about this issue. Here are several
comments I have received from my graduates.

Gene, thanks a million for your fascinating course on Saturday. It was one
of the most interesting days I’ve ever spent. As you said, I’m sure it will
prove to have been a life changing experience. God speed in your quest.

Gene, Just a short note to thank you again for a most enjoyable and
informative class last Sunday.
The information was extremely relevant and presented in a cogent and
entertaining manner.
I have recommended the class to friends and co-workers.

Gene,

I just wanted to thank you again for coming to B.R.Falls and putting on an
excellent class. You can be assured that I will continue to help educate the
general public on the facts of Carry/Conceal. Keep up the GOOD WORK!!!!!

Hi, Gene!

I wanted to thank you again for your time and effort with the Wisconsin
Concealed Carry Movement. Your class yesterday was extremely informative
and yes, you succeeded in getting me to think twice as to whether or not
carrying concealed is something I’m going to want to take on.

I’m pretty sure I will, however, there is going to be a LOT more thought put
into it.

Hi Gene,

In reference to last Saturday’s (May 8th, 2004) Permit to Carry course. Let
me take this opportunity to thank you for a very enjoyable day. I was able
to learn a lot of things that were unknown to me as a private citizen. This
course is probably one of the best I have ever encountered. With you
teaching, you are able to put all the information into layman’s terms rather
than it being to technical for me to understand.

I would highly recommend this course to everyone, even if they were not
seeking a Conceal and Carry permit. I think that if the gun control
organizations would attend a course like this, it could open their eyes.

In the end I may or may not get a conceal and carry permit. But NOW—– I
have the option of choosing what I do.

Thanks again Gene, and I hope you reach your goal by Nov..

Hi Gene
Thanks for coming to Gillett For the hand gun class. I came away with a
much better understanding of the responsibilities a person takes on when he
decides to carry a hand gun in public. like you said this should be just the
beginning of my education on concealed carry. Thanks again for getting me
off on the right foot.

I am proud of my students who to date have contributed over $11,000 to the
WCCM. Please tell your friends and family about this opportunity to take
action along with your fellow Wisconsin citizens who are working to make
Concealed Carry a reality in Wisconsin.

Regards,

Gene German